


Violent Talks

by classicasshole



Series: The Long Conversation [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Boys In Love, Hurt Bucky Barnes, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt Steve Rogers, M/M, These boys are not good with feelings, but they are trying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-12
Updated: 2016-12-12
Packaged: 2018-09-08 00:41:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8822863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/classicasshole/pseuds/classicasshole
Summary: Steve catches up with Bucky and attempts to make things right, but things are never that easy.
Takes place after 'The Truth'.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hi this is my second stucky fic, this is part of a series, if people want to see more of this universe let me know, I do have some ideas for these boys and hope to give them a happy ending.
> 
> Any feedback is appreciated but please don't be rude about it.
> 
> thanks for reading :)

Steve turns around looking up to the surrounding buildings. Where would the best position for a sniper be? He’s brought back to reality as another AIM robot whizzes by. He’s about to fling his shield at it but the robot is downed by the unknown sniper. Well not unknown, just not an authorised Avenger. 

Bucky, thinks Steve. He needs this fight to be over so he can find him and talk to him. 

Its been just over two months since their fight and Steve was true to his word he hadn’t followed Bucky, hadn’t actively looked for him. But now...Well Bucky was making himself know. He could be taking out threats a lot more stealthily, and well, it seems that only threats to Steve were being taken out...enough said. If Bucky was revealing himself well Steve took it as an olive branch. 

He needed to talk to Bucky. He’s replayed their argument every spare moment he’s had. The visceral pain in Bucky’s eyes, his truth finally laid bare after almost 100 years. Steve had been devastated, he still was. He knew the other Avengers were worried about him but he hadn’t been able to care much. All his thoughts focused on Bucky and how he had utterly failed him. 

No… He couldn’t think about this now, he needed to focus, he was in the middle of a battle for god’s sake! Thank god he had a guardian angle with a sniper rifle because he needed all the help he could get when his head wasn’t in the game.

 

xxx

 

Thankfully the killer robots were handled easily enough. The team had enough air support between Sam, Rhodey, Stark, Vision and Wanda that flying robots were not that difficult to contain and stop. 

Immediately after he was sure the last threat had been eliminated he was scanning the surrounding office windows again. There!… Steve caught a glimpse of brown hair and black leather on a nearby rooftop. He looked back to his team, they all seemed to be ok, no serious injuries.

“Go”, its Sam, he is looking at Steve his eyes filled with understanding.

Steve gives a curt nod and then is off, running in the direction of his sniper angel.

 

xxx

 

“Thanks for the help back there”, he says it to Bucky’s back. Even though the other man must have known Steve was behind him he hadn’t turned around. Steve wanted to think it was because Bucky trusted him enough to be vulnerable. But Steve knew that it was probably because Bucky couldn’t stand to look at Steve. 

When the silence went on for too long Steve continued, “Its just that I know you could have helped out and been on your way without me even knowing. I thought you were revealing yourself to me meant that we could maybe talk?” It came out sounding as uncertain as Steve felt.

“I guess I’m just a glutton for punishment...Some things never change”.

“Buck please...”

“Please what? What do you want from me Steve?”

“I want to make it right. I want us to talk”

“Talk? I can’t remember the last time we just talked. It always turns into an argument”

“Will you please just look at me?”

Bucky slowly turns and when Steve gets a look at his face it feel like he can breath freely for the first time in two months. God he was beautiful. All of his drawings could never do justice to the beauty of Bucky Barnes.

“Its good to see you” when he was met with silence he continued “God I missed you”.

He took a hesitant step forward and while Bucky didn’t shy away his eyes narrowed and he tensed.

“I can’t do this Steve. I am trying to stop,, ease myself out” 

“What? I don’t understand”

“THIS!” he shouted shaking his rifle at Steve. “You were the one who wanted to be the soldier not me. And god help me I am trying to stop. I hate the violence. My whole life has been violence. I just want it to stop!”

“Its ok Buck. You don’t have t-”

“No its not ok! I can’t stop. I thought being away from you and the others would help. I thought I could find some peace. But I guess my protective streak is stronger than my aversion to violence”, he smiled bitterly. “You’re surrounded by violence Steve. Violence has been your life just like its been mine. The difference is you crave the violence, you thrive on it. Me? It’s just slowly killing me”.

“I don’t crave violence I-”

“Yes. You do. You have always sought out confrontation. The happiest you ever were was during the war. Do you not think thats kinda fucked up Stevie?”

Steve had no response to that he just continued to stare at Bucky.

“Your life is violence now. Your job is inherently violent. Your best friends are soldiers, assassins, spies, former arms dealers. I just… I can’t. If you could just give it up I could live with that. I could deal with just being friends I could deal with your stubbornness. But I just can’t deal with the violence. Its just so hard to give you up”.

“What are you saying Buck?” Steve whispered, shifting on his feet in this damp back alley.

The other man just sighed, he looked exhausted, worse than Steve who had been battling killer robots not 15 minutes ago. 

“I love you. I always have and I always will. Nothing you do will change that. No matter how pissed you make me I could never truly hate you. And I could put up with you and your friends and I could even live with you having a girlfriend. I might be miserable but it ain’t nothing I haven’t already lived through”, he huffed out a humourless laugh. “” But I’m tired Steve, so tired of fighting. And like I said I’m trying to stop. I can’t go cold turkey so I’m easing myself out of it. Only backing you up when I think you really need it. But I can’t be with you, even as just a friend while you keep doing what you’re doing. The violence is too much for me. I can’t handle it.”

“Fine Buck, I’ll stop, I’ll do anything you want” Steve pleaded desperately.

“No. Don’t make promises you have no intention of keeping. I’m not asking you to give up being Captain America. Maybe because I know you won’t choose me. Not really.” 

Steve wanted to argue but knew he had to tread carefully. He couldn’t be careless with his words, he couldn’t be careless with Bucky. “This is not something we are going to figure out in a back-alley Buck. Please just come back with me and give me some time to think ab-” the brunet was slowly shaking his head.

“I’m not going back with you Steve. I told you I can’t.”

“Well then can we meet up again to talk more?”

“I don’t know. I don’t want to get sucked back in. A clean break would be better. Its just...” he looked up then, staring at Steve and how could Steve have missed it that loving yet heartbroken expression on his best friend’s face. It was so familiar yet Steve was only really seeing it now.

“Bucky I can’t just drop everything now and like you said I can’t make promises so easily. You need to give me time. To talk to my team, to figure myself out.” Steve knew he was asking so much, asking Bucky to hold on even longer. He knew he was hurting Bucky, he doesn’t seem to be able to stop hurting Bucky. 

“I’ll see you around Steve” its the last thing Bucky says as he turns the corner out of the alley and disappears. 

Well at least it wasn’t goodbye.


End file.
